A heartbreaking week.

(Originally posted on my facebook page.)

I have been struggling with what to say the last couple days. I'm heartbroken and weary. Weary of fear and fearmongering. Weary of hate and ignorance and violence. Weary that skin color still divides us. What on earth does skin color matter? Why does it have the power to divide us? Aren't we all American?
We grow up watching the same TV shows, loving ice cream and pie and pizza and video games. We should all live in the same country. And yet we don't.

I watch my loved ones of color fight so hard for things white folk take for granted. Always wondering if the rude sales clerk is racist or just having a bad day. Always having to be 'on point' 'representing well', while worrying they could be the next one to have a traffic stop end in tragedy. I weep that people hate you and are afraid of you.

And my loved ones who are first responders. I respect the hell out of you. Your job is so hard. And so dangerous on the best of days. I weep that people hate you and are afraid of you.

When will this end? When will we rise as a nation and say ENOUGH.
I will choose not to fear.
I will choose to see you as a person, a whole person, not just your skin color or uniform.
I will ask questions when I don't understand.
I will not assume anything based on a stereotype.
I will take back what really made America Great. Our diversity. Our courage. Our exploratory spirit.

Let's do better. 💕

Heart-Melting

This picture truly hits my heart today as my 14-year-old kitty has been ill the last couple of weeks.  Thankfully it has been with "minor" health issues but it's so hard to watch her not feel well and not be able to do much to help.

I learned that when a cat has a "cold" they often don't eat. Apparently if a cat cannot smell the food, it doesn't exist, even if she is looking right at it!  It helps to try really smelly food, and at one point I was hand-feeding her tuna!  But she is on the mend and I am thankful!

My sweetie!

Daily Giggle

hmmm

Have been under the weather the past couple days, down with a sinus infection.  So plans to blog daily are on hold while I recuperate.

A New Year

So, I have decided that I will blog most days, even if it's just a random thought.  And here's today's...  Though sometimes I am vocal in my opinions, often I hold back.  Maybe I'm afraid of offending someone, somewhere, or sometimes I feel like my thoughts are still unformed, not processed enough, or not polished enough.  Like if my opinion isn't "perfect" it shouldn't be shared. But sometimes sharing invites feedback which shapes, sharpens, and makes more substantial those somewhat unformed opinions. So this year I am sharing my thoughts, imperfect though they may be.  I will never be intentionally hurtful, that is not who I am, but I may occasionally be offensive or annoying to you if you don't agree with me, and that's ok.  Not everyone will always agree on every point.  I value feedback but please be respectful.

Here's to 2013!

Stepping up on the Soapbox for a minute

I have to share the experience I had at SuperTarget the other day, where I couldn't help but notice what the the girl in front of me in the checkout line was buying.  She looked to be in her mid-twenties and seemed fairly athletic.  The items I noticed her buying were:

"wheat" bread (not whole wheat, but that stuff that's basically white bread)
Pop-tarts
iceberg lettuce
Crystal Light
Bud-Light
peanut butter
tortilla chips

What bothered me about her choices was that they really are a product of our society and it's messed-up priorities.  There will be "health experts" out there who would applaud her for buying the Crystal Light because it is low-calorie, despite the fact that there are serious concerns about the effects sugar substitutes can have on our bodies (anything from headaches and stomach upset to leading to actually eating more sugar because your body is now primed for sweets).  Strike One.

Next I thought about how the only item in that list with *any* nutritional value was the peanut butter and even that was highly processed Jif and not even the natural kind.  Everything outside the lettuce and beer is highly processed, robbing whatever nutritional value might have originally been in the actual food (wheat, peanuts, corn) they started with.  So what exactly is the point of eating "food" that isn't really nourishing your body? Strike Two.

Then it occurred to me that when that young lady inevitably becomes ill because she hasn't actually fed her body anything it needs to function properly, she will go to our "health care" system which will give her drugs which will mask her symptoms but not actually solve her underlying issues.  Strike Three.

I think we're out...

Thought of the Day

I think I'm going to do more "little" posts.  Thoughts of the day type posts.  Some serious, some maybe not so much.  So here's the first!

Last night I was having trouble getting my laptop to connect to the internet.  Netflix was playing just fine on the TV so I knew it was something with the laptop, not the internet.  I kept trying to fix it, doing this and that, all the while thinking that I could just go spend some time reading my Bible and praying, and then I could check back later.  And all of a sudden it hit me how often I do that with everything.  Any problem I have, I try so hard to fix it instead of spending time in prayer, and turning my issue over to God.  I always want to try this one more thing, and then that one more thing, and maybe if I just try once more... I know I'll get it solved!  I'm not in any way saying we shouldn't try, that we should never do anything, but shouldn't the first response be to pray?  Isn't that the best use of time?  How much time have I wasted by not just giving my problems to the Lord?  I believe I would have much less frustration if I prayed first, then worked!

The First Day

I realized this morning that today is...
the first day of the week
the first day of the month
the first day of the year

Or a new day, a new week, a new month, a new year!

That's a lot of newness
A lot of reason to begin again
A lot of ways to experience God's promise that His Mercies are new every morning.

I'm not a person who makes New Year's Resolutions, I usually think that it's better to make changes all year as needed.
 

but this year... all the "news", all the "firsts" today made me think about all the ways I'd like my life to change this year.  And I'm excited.  I think it's going to be a great year!

Bad blogger :P

I have had so much going through my mind the last couple weeks but have been way too busy to process it all out.  Topics include forgiveness, relationships, faithfulness, busyness, and the state of the Church in America.  So!  Things to come! :)

Also, moving offices this week really wore me out.  Darnit all, I'm getting older and I don't like it ;)

time to start

so I opened this thing last spring and just kinda forgot about it. Sad. It's time to decide whether I'm going to actually do this or not. Also, toying with learning programming. Just for fun :)

In other news . . . I'm working on getting things organized around the apartment and finding that small steps are the way to go. Even just 20 minutes a night have shown huge progress in the last month since I started this project! I love how clean and open the kitchen looks! I can't wait for the whole place to feel that open. Clutter stresses me out. I don't like a lot of it.

I'd also like to use this to post thoughts I have about spiritual stuff. I always have things - ideas, thoughts, musings - just bouncing around in my brain. This might be an excellent place to let them roam free. . .