It is raining. On December 13th. What an odd experience to be listening to the rain while all around me are Christmas decorations lighting up the room. While I was driving home earlier, I noticed how the green of the traffic lights and the red of brake lights were reflecting on the wet pavement, creating a very Christmasy feeling in me. Something I have had a difficult time mustering up this year. We had an absolutely beautiful autumn here in Nebraska, with temperatures in the sixties and seventies even on Thanksgiving Day and beyond. Beautiful, but not exactly inspiring of a Christmas Spirit. And then, the first Saturday in December... snow! A softly falling, all day long kind of snow, the kind that leaves a gorgeous winter wonderland in it's wake. Finally! Time to take down the scarecrows and sunflowers (ok, I leave some sunflowers up all year... I just love them!) and put up the tree, and the stockings, and the snowmen, and the lights.... lovely. And yet, even after watching several of my favorite Christmas movies these past couple of weeks, it still just doesn't "feel" like Christmas.
But what *should* Christmas feel like anyway?
I suspect it's not what the barrage of commercials and holiday specials tell us. And I think it changes depending on what stage of life we're in. I remember as a kid being so excited I couldn't sleep, wondering what was under the tree for me, and whether Santa had come. Then in college and after it was about family and traditions... Christmas Eve service, dinner and games, then watching The Muppet Christmas Carol. And my mother's wonderful imagination, creating a treasure hunt for us every Christmas Day.
And now, December seems more... reflective ... to me. Less unbridled excitement. More busyness. Less angst. More peace. And still... the part of me that will always feel like a child. The part that grins from ear to ear when I hear the Grinch song, or I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas.
And part of me will always be a slightly rebellious young adult, reflected in my love for the rocking Christmas Eve Sarejevo 12/24 but Transiberian Orchestra. And on the happy note of that song, I will end this post. :D
Lovely words, Tania. :) I do have to laugh, though, when I think of sunflowers and how much you enjoy them--and I agree they can brighten one's day with their bright yellow heads facing the sun--but as I recall Dad really didn't like them at all. They were a weed and a nuisance to him. In the summer of 2010 I had stopped at the cemetery and found a 12" sunflower plant growing on his grave near his headstone. I figured that either he'd come to peace with them, or he was turning over in his grave wanting to get rid of the plant! I pulled it up, and pictured his relief at it's being gone. :D On another note, I wonder if part of the reason that it doesn't seem to "feel" like Christmas is that Christmas, in and of itself, is all about hope. We are so surrounded these days by negativity and hopelessness--we are bombarded with bad news about unemployment, the economy, the housing market, sex scandals, corruption in corporations, the hopeless bickering and stalemate in Congress to get anything done... Combine that with all the reports of earthquakes, tsunamis, flooding, tornadoes, drought, and famine that have hit around the world this year and we are left overwhelmed and with a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. I keep saying that we need to start talking about and emphasizing the good news that surrounds us--people do do good things, there are good and hopeful signs that things are turning around. My theory is that what humans focus on is where they go--think negative, negative happens; think positive and good things start to happen. Christmas is the ultimate promise of hope--if each of us would start focusing on things getting better--believe that there is hope for the future,that there are better things ahead--and start sharing that hope with others, maybe just maybe we'd all "feel" Christmas again. :)
ReplyDeleteI know... sometimes I think about Grandpa's hatred of Sunflowers lol. I think a lot of my lack of "Christmas Spirit" is that I'm not around many young children. I think grown-ups, like you said, just get caught up in the cares of their lives and the world and lose that excitement that children have.
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