I have had this blog for several years now and not done much with it. I guess I'm not sure what I want it to be exactly. I always feel like if I put anything out there for the world to see it has to be all impressive. Or whatever. So I think of ideas of things I want to write about. And they sit there because I don't really have the time I want to give them. Or the energy some days. I have been fighting with some chronic knee and back pain this year. And some days, even with painkillers, even with a brace, even with occasional use of a walking stick (yeah it was that bad), some days I just had no energy. And when you have no energy you have no creativity. Ask any artist/writer/other creative type.
And right now I am a frustrated writer. With several books in progress, one even kinda close to being done, but having some writer's block. Every time I sit to write lately I just want to beat my head against a wall. So I'm here. Hoping maybe this will unblock my headspace. My knee is mostly better. Yay! I feel like now I have more normal 40something aches and pains rather than feeling like an invalid. And I am thankful. And still stuck.
Or rather rambling here. Hoping that no one will actually read this. Or maybe I don't care anymore. Maybe that's Why I get so stuck. Because I don't really feel free to let my words run free. I'm always just waiting to be judged. But I wanna be brave. (Sing it Sara Bareilles https://youtu.be/QUQsqBqxoR4 !)
Anyway. I think I finally know what I want this blog to be. My space to rant, vent, muse, or whatever. I may put more poems up. I may review books/movies/TV shows. And I know I will probably never go viral or gain a big following. And you know what? That's ok. I just want to feel like I can say what I wanna say and let the words fall out...
