A Ridiculous Election!

What's on my mind? A lot. I have had a lot of interesting, eye-opening, frustrating conversations this weekend. And most of them have brought me right back to what I have been mulling over for quite some time.

A while ago I read a book called "Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From The American Dream." by David Platt. It was something I had already been thinking about - how somehow Christianity had become so entwined with Conservatism and the Republican Party.

And this election cycle.. all it's ugliness... and deep divides. I can't help but wonder if God is trying to get our attention. Trying to call us back, away from AmeriChristianity. Away from the Idols we have made of comfort and security and prosperity and even freedom.

It feels like somewhere along the line "God and Country" got out of order. We began to want God to fit The American Ideal, rather than us trying to live His way. He calls us to put nothing above Him, we want Him to Make America Great.

He asks us to take care of the widows and orphans, and He goes out of His way to command that women and foreigners be treated with a higher respect than the culture of the time. We think women are nothing more than sex objects and foreigners will destroy our country.

He calls men to a higher standard, we twist ourselves into pretzels to insist that, despite all evidence to the contrary, men who brag about their lies and sexual assaults and racism are still "good men".

We sacrifice millions of children to the god of convenience and, despite all biological evidence, insist that the woman is just exercising control over her own body, not killing a child.

We laugh at the poor and weak and mentally ill. We call them lazy and stupid and insist that they need to just "get a job" rather than showing compassion.

We turn a blind eye to pornography and how it has changed an entire generation's view of sex and their bodies.

We cannot handle it when someone disagrees with us and we call it "persecution" or "_____phobia"

The list seems endless. No one is immune.

I am not immune. I fear Donald Trump and the damage he can do to our nation, mostly in terms of relations with other countries and his potential to actually start a war. I do not want Hilary Clinton to be President either - let me be clear on that, since it seems that people assume if you don't like one, you must love the other.

But my point is this - maybe as Christians we should be Thankful that we have no good options for President. Maybe we should be Thankful we are forced to re-evaluate some of our opinions, some of our fears, some of our thoughts on where our security comes from.

God is still on His Throne.
God is moving mightily in countries where actual persecution is taking place and has taken place for centuries.
Why are we special?
Why should we not suffer with and for our brothers and sisters here and around the globe?

I am letting this convict me, letting go of my fear, and praying for a revival. Anyone with me?

A heartbreaking week.

(Originally posted on my facebook page.)

I have been struggling with what to say the last couple days. I'm heartbroken and weary. Weary of fear and fearmongering. Weary of hate and ignorance and violence. Weary that skin color still divides us. What on earth does skin color matter? Why does it have the power to divide us? Aren't we all American?
We grow up watching the same TV shows, loving ice cream and pie and pizza and video games. We should all live in the same country. And yet we don't.

I watch my loved ones of color fight so hard for things white folk take for granted. Always wondering if the rude sales clerk is racist or just having a bad day. Always having to be 'on point' 'representing well', while worrying they could be the next one to have a traffic stop end in tragedy. I weep that people hate you and are afraid of you.

And my loved ones who are first responders. I respect the hell out of you. Your job is so hard. And so dangerous on the best of days. I weep that people hate you and are afraid of you.

When will this end? When will we rise as a nation and say ENOUGH.
I will choose not to fear.
I will choose to see you as a person, a whole person, not just your skin color or uniform.
I will ask questions when I don't understand.
I will not assume anything based on a stereotype.
I will take back what really made America Great. Our diversity. Our courage. Our exploratory spirit.

Let's do better. 💕

Changes

I have had this blog for several years now and not done much with it.  I guess I'm not sure what I want it to be exactly.  I always feel like if I put anything out there for the world to see it has to be all impressive.  Or whatever.  So I think of ideas of things I want to write about.  And they sit there because I don't really have the time I want to give them.  Or the energy some days.  I have been fighting with some chronic knee and back pain this year.  And some days, even with painkillers, even with a brace, even with occasional use of a walking stick (yeah it was that bad), some days I just had no energy.  And when you have no energy you have no creativity.  Ask any artist/writer/other creative type.

And right now I am a frustrated writer.  With several books in progress, one even kinda close to being done, but having some writer's block.  Every time I sit to write lately I just want to beat my head against a wall.  So I'm here.  Hoping maybe this will unblock my headspace.  My knee is mostly better.  Yay!  I feel like now I have more normal 40something aches and pains rather than feeling like an invalid.  And I am thankful.  And still stuck.

Or rather rambling here.  Hoping that no one will actually read this.  Or maybe I don't care anymore.  Maybe that's Why I get so stuck.  Because I don't really feel free to let my words run free.  I'm always just waiting to be judged.  But I wanna be brave.  (Sing it Sara Bareilles https://youtu.be/QUQsqBqxoR4 !)

Anyway.  I think I finally know what I want this blog to be.  My space to rant, vent, muse, or whatever.  I may put more poems up.  I may review books/movies/TV shows.  And I know I will probably never go viral or gain a big following.  And you know what?  That's ok.  I just want to feel like I can say what I wanna say and let the words fall out...

Good Friday Meditation

It's a beautiful day in Lincoln. A little breezy, but 60 and Sunny! A lovely Spring day. The kind of day to get out and play in, to celebrate light and life. Not the kind of day to think dark thoughts, or to celebrate darkness.

And yet.

Today is Good Friday. The day Christ-followers do exactly that - Remember the darkness. The darkest of days in all of History, the day God chose to die. And suffer, suffer terribly. His was not a quick death. He was tortured. Beaten, for hours. Mocked. Questioned. Ridiculed.They took His clothes. They placed a crown of thorns on His head.  They made Him carry the wood for the Cross -the method of His execution. They put nails through His hands, His feet.

I can hardly bear to write this. I hate thinking of it. I hate reading about it. I am too empathetic a person, I cannot think about pain on this level. I am a puddle of tears.

But this isn't about me. Except it is. It's about all of us. He didn't go through all that for Himself.

I think about His loved ones. There. Watching. Waiting. Peter's denial and how much he must have hated himself. Jesus' Mother, his friends, his family. How could you stand to watch your loved one be humiliated and broken?

And there's more. They believed in Him. He was the Messiah! A King! Their Savior! They thought it meant politics, that He was to shake off the shackles of Roman Rule and re-establish Israel as the Theocracy it rightfully was.

And yet.

There he was. Dying on a Cross. Like a common criminal. So much for hope. The Darkness which covered the land must have matched the Darkness which flooded their souls.

And then He died. And they didn't know that wasn't the end. They didn't know what Sunday would mean. That He would rise from the Dead. But even that wasn't all. He didn't just rise Himself. He wasn't so limited in Power.

His Resurrection meant All Death was Conquered. Forever.

All Sin, taken into Himself on the Cross. Conquered. Forever.

Satan and all his minions. Conquered. Forever.

And that Messiah thing?  Freedom from shackles?  So much bigger than Rome. It's for all of us. FREE. Forever. Free from the power of sin over us. Free to LIVE as He meant us to live. In Fellowship with Him and each other.

I am Thankful.  I am unworthy, but I am Loved.  And I am FREE.


To anyone who reads this - If for you today isn't a beautiful day. If life is dark, even if it feels like it's been Friday for years... Sunday is coming. We can choose Life and Freedom. He paid the Price so we don't have to.

*Biblical References: Luke 22-24, John 3:16, Ephesians 2:1-10, Romans 8:31-39, 1 Peter 1:3

All Things New

Yesterday began 2016. A New Year. And so of course, everywhere you looked people were posting things about Newness, Fresh Starts, New You's, Letting Go of the Old and Embracing The New. We can't help it. A New Year feels like a fresh start. December is lovely, but Dark. The days shortening until a full half of the day is night. And Busy. We blink at Thanksgiving and somehow find ourselves transported through a foggy whirlwind of decorations, parties, shopping, food-making, and obligations to Christmas. The next week we are in a daze. How did we get here? How did I eat so much? How is it that another year is already over? How did I not accomplish anything I had planned on doing? Again?

This is why I'm not big on Resolutions. I always feel that if I think of a goal I'd like to accomplish, I should start on it, not wait for The Perfect Time. Good in theory, but I'm bad at it in practice. I suffer from that certain form of procrastination, you know the one that seductively lies to you and tells you that everything has to be "just so" in order to get started on something. Or finish something you've already started after you've been off-task for a while. If the timing isn't right, if conditions aren't perfect, if I only have five minutes instead of the hour I wanted... well, can't work on that right now.

Lies.

So here's my goal. Not my resolution. Just a goal I happened to come up with at this time of year because a couple of weeks ago I was doing my annual end-of-the-year mopey pondering and beating myself up. Regretting all the things I failed to do. Again.

The goal:  STOP IT ALREADY! Just do it! Even if I only do it for five minutes. Go to bed every day wrecked because I fought hard all day to accomplish my goals. It doesn't matter what they are, if I care enough to set them, they matter enough to fight for! No excuses. Play dirty if that's what it takes! (Against my fears and bad habits.)

And this is where we circle back round to the New Year, New Things, thing. I don't think it's possible to accomplish that goal without fully letting go of any regrets over past mistakes. Learning from the past is good, dwelling on it is crippling.

And in that spirit - two Bible verses I claim for this point in my life.

"Thus says the Lord . . .    

18 

'Remember not the former things,

    nor consider the things of old.

19 

Behold, I am doing a new thing;

    now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness

    and rivers in the desert.'"

~ Isaiah 43: 16, 18-19

But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 

I press on toward the goal. 

~Philippians 3:13-14

Here's to Fighting for a Wonderful 2016!